


Tea Held Under Water

by CopicsForNameless



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Fili and Kili teaching, Other, dwarven anatomy, probably a bad idea, swiming, swimming lessons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 21:29:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4761704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CopicsForNameless/pseuds/CopicsForNameless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>agree fully with a lot of the fandom’s head cannoms, </p><p>Firstly hobbits can’t swim. At least not most and certainly not bilbo. the Idea of a dwarf teaching Bilbo to swim is such a cute one that I often go back to it. I suspect that it would be left up to kili and fili; if not because as the youngest they get stuck with some of the most unsavoury tasks, then because their meddling led them to discovering Mr. Baggins little secret (and they are certainly not going to tattle when Bilbo has kept so much of their mischievous little pranks to himself.) so any point they can they steal away for these little sessions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tea Held Under Water

It’s their first session of many, and the three of them have stolen away. They’re not far from the company. In fact the laughter and merry making of the company can be heard in between every one of Fili’s questions. Forcing little breaks in between his teaching. Fili is asking Bilbo if he can swim at all, and trying to decide where it is they need to start. 

 

“I’ve gotten the logistics of swimming memorized, it’s just none to easy for me to follow through, and near impossible when I’m above the water.” Bilbo admits, and to the boy’s horror they find this to be completely true. The hobbit thrashes around too much, and sinks too easily from all his commotion. Bilbo's form is just terrible, and at best he can do something of a doggy paddle. 

 

“How- you’re barely even moving forward!” Kili’s little snippets of commentary are beginning to wear on the hobbit, and they greet him frequently enough that Bilbo's temper has worn thin.

 

“I’m not completely hopeless, unlike you and your manners." he snaps, crossing his arms infant of his and taking on his typical air of importance. "I’ll have you know I can swim under the water just fine.” With a little huff Bilbo slips under and to each boys surprise; actually maneuvers around with some ease. His incessant sinking seems to have some benefit to the hobbit, because by the time he reaches the waters floor he's using his overly large feet to kick up and forward. Bilbo breaks the surface quietly, taking a deep gulp of air before slipping back under to repeat. Fili is left thinking there is at least some hope for the hobbit. 

 

It’s not long after the little discovery that Kili seems to notice something baffling. Fili only has a moment to worry over his brothers mental health as the brunette wags his arm at the swimming hobbit. His brother is gaping wordlessly and his eyes have begone to buldge. 

“His eyes are open! Look at that Fee!” the elder prince does a double take but sure enough his brother is right. In Fact the hobbit hasn’t closes his eyes once. Not even as he breaks the surface for his gulps of air, and the droplets drips into his eyes. If Fili wasn’t completely baffled at that, then he would have been astonished that KILI noticed this first. After all Fili was watching the hobbit closely to make sure he didn’t drown.

 

Bilbo has stopped swimming, noticing the commotion and now coming up to stand in front of the two. He's forced onto the tips of his toes to keep from swallowing the water, but he still manages to stare up at the boys with the most confused of expressions coming across his features.

“Yes? So they are..?” 

 

“How? You must Show us!” Kill all but yells, becoming a bit thoughtless in his surprise. Bilbo looks between the two; an odd expression on his face but after a moment he blinks it away. 

 

“Well alright, lets make a game of it then.” He offers, and Fili is the first to tread eagerly into the deeper waters, his brother close behind. “It’s a hobbit game. Well, I’ve yet to have played it, but it’s easy. Now I’ll sit under and spell a word to you or have tea, or something of the like, and you will follow me under. Once you are under you can go on and open your eyes, we'll resurface you’ll tell me what I’ve just done so I know you’ve followed through.” An expression of determination has settled over each dwarf, and in turn Bilbo offers them an exasperated little smile. 

 

They do as asked, almost in sync as they so often are. They follow Bilbo into the water and the three sit cross legged for a moment, The hobbit waiting patiently until that moment the brothers open their eyes. But in the next moment with the commotion that the two create, they startle the poor hobbit straight up out of the water; following the dwarves only a second behind. his toes just barely finding purchase on the stones below.

 

“Ah! my eyes! Fill, Mr. Boggins has ridden me of my eyesight!” Kill shouts, leaping forward a step and launching onto the first thing he can find purchase in.

 

“Kili- Er- n-!” the hobbit sputters, having been the thing Kili clutched onto. His force taking Bilbo a step backwards into deeper waters.

 

“Kili! what are you doing! he can hardly swim, let alone hold your arse up!” Fill calls after them, then runs the few steps they've travelled ahead water slushing as he did. He tugs his flailing and now slightly blinded brother against him, insuring Kili won't drown himself or poor Mr. Baggins. It takes a bit -Fili holding Kili up all the while- but soon enough Fili is Blinking the world back into view. In doing so he is welcomed by a very put off Mr. Baggins. Who now resembles something of a drowned cat as he tries to keep afloat. simultaneously trying to snort the water from his nose. 

 

In the end Fili had to pull them both back into into shallower waters. Chuckling slightly as he did.

 

It was admittedly, mostly their fault. Dwarven eyes: while phenomenal in the dark, are sensitive to light and more so to anything falling in them. If the two had assumed Bilbo knew some trick well- then that was their business! And they were definitely not saying anything now. Before it had been out of loyalty, now it was to save what was left of their dignity.

**Author's Note:**

> as always please feel free to speak your mind in anyway you see fit


End file.
